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Thread: Female Advice

  1. #1
    ASTG's Avatar
    ASTG is offline Previously known as BTPH and DNHM
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    Female Advice

    Ladies of EYO Phorums, if any of you are still out there, is the computer set up in my room too full on?
    have received feedback from some female friends, but would like more opinions

    lemme set the scene, imagine youve been on a couple dates with a guy, youre hitting it off pretty well. he invites you back to his place. you get there, snuggle up on the couch, have a little coffee or wine or whatever. Then at some point you move on to his bedroom

    half the bedroom is taken up by this


    Do you:
    A) Run out of there as fast as you can
    B) Make up an excuse to leave
    C) Jump on him and make wild passionate love to him
    D) Other, please specify

    If you have selected C please get in touch
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    Last edited by ASTG; 05-07-2017 at 10:27 PM.
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  2. #2
    MeanDean's Avatar
    MeanDean is offline Winner - Member most likely to go off topic 2007,2008
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    I think that if you get her to the bedroom then you're already in a pretty good position. She's probably more worried about weather she looks like a slob if she drops her clothes on the floor opposed to putting them on some nearby spot that doesn't have your stuff there and if asked, the truth isn't going to hurt at that point; "I'm a bit of a game geek" or whatever the case is.

    Sideways displays though? lol. Why?
    Why is it so hard?
    ...my penis I mean


  3. #3
    MeanDean's Avatar
    MeanDean is offline Winner - Member most likely to go off topic 2007,2008
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    So speaking of female advice, I have something that has nothing to do with that.

    ...however, when I was in my late teens and very early 20s I wished sometimes that I had been a girl. I thought life would be so easy. I could screw my way into free rent, and if I was good looking enough, free everything. After my brother tried modeling, I thought to myself, "Dang! that would be some easy money, and I'm definately better looking than him." He got a two or three paid jobs but that was it. As for me, I was stoned all the time back then and lacked the motivation to work out and get buffed up for it. This, though, is the same mentality of no ambition apart from finding something relatively easy that paid hopefully really well, so good pay with minimal effort to get there.

    Today, I have differant reason for wanting to be a girl, but its pretty rare that I think that and its only hypothetical and not an actual "Ah man! I was cheated". It would fcuking weird to be having something get stuck inside of you, which is something I never considered when I was younger. So, whatever those reasons were, I can't remember what the hell I was thinking now. I did the math recently and women spend ... I think it came out to 9 years, on average, bleeding, if they were to add it all up. That's insane. The childhood joke "Don't trust anything that bleeds for a week each month and doesn't die" takes on new meaning. 9 years! NINE! .. Years!

    Anyway, one good reason would be that I could be dirty filthy lesbian slut. I'd be great at it. I'd be the best lesbian that ever lived. Who knows what kind of mad skills I'd have. It would be insane. I remember thinking that. Also that I'd probably never turn down any women as a lesbian. This has me thinking now though, I wonder how often lesbians have to avoid crazy girls or avoid things for whatever other reason. I hadn't thought of that.

    If I was a lesbian, I'd want to have a giant penis shaped clit, that way things would be at least somewhat familiar when I first made the instantanous transition after the fairy waved the magic wand and "poof, I'm a woman".

    So obviously the biggest adjustment... I'd make sure the fairy gave me sensitive nipples by the way. The biggest adjustment, already mentioned, would be having things stuck inside me. Would I want that? Would it be difficult like a guy being patient for a virgin to relax enough for the thing to slide in? More importantly, would I decide I liked it and if I did, would I start liking guys? That's really weird to get my head around, but lets play it out and say the answer was yes for the sake of the argument. Now, I'd be the sluttiest, horniest, bisexual woman with the craziest sex skills the world has ever known, but its still disturbing.

    Yeah, so, I should mention that In real life I tend to steer clear of calling anyone a slut. It doesn't apply to men though, I've had some downright sleazy as$ male friends when I was younger. Looking back its pretty clear they were sex addicts, but its really easy for me to say "Slut" or "Scumbag" while I've known some women sex addicts and cut them a lot of slack pretty easily. Why is this? I don't know, I'm asking you, why is this? Hmmm... maybe all us guys have some gratitude for the more promiscuous women of our youth, and the intimacy created by sex made it easy to overlook the same sort of behaviour that we loathe in our male friends. That sort of makes sense because when you think about it, when we get older, men aren't the ones making women feel bad, its women doing it to each other.

    I'd have to be a really coordinated chick though, and not like buff or built like a guy but strong enough to defend myself, like when a 6 foot tall dude who's really skinny hits you in the arm or chest when you're screwing around and you go "Holy shit he's WAY stronger than I thought." I wouldn't want to be too skinny, I don't like that. I'd have really nice tits too, and I'd look good without makeup (pain in the as$) and without having to do all that much to my hair. I wonder who I'd molest first?

    Edit: The coordination is to defend myself by the way, not to be some kind of freak contortionist woman. Same with the strength. Also, when the fairy waves the magic wand, this happens when I'm in the shower soaping down my torso. Also, I wouldn't want a freakishly enormous clit, I wouldn't want other women to say "Damn! her clit is like a dick!". It would be big enough to suck on though.

    Edit2: ASTG, now that I'm woman, I'm going with selection D to answer your question. I really don't what I want. I don't care that you're a video game geek, I just want to feel loved and if I'm in your bedroom its to be sexed up so I don't give a sh|t about your weird as$ setup, but be gentle with me, I've never done this before and I have a vagina hole thing that I didn't have earlier today so I'm really fcucing nervous and I want to be really open about that so I can give you some honest and explicit moment by moment instructions if I need to, but you need be really patient with me because this is the weiredest thing I've ever done. So no, I'm not even thinking about your computer screens. They didn't even register in my head for more than .0001 milliseconds. Maybe later I'll ask about them and think you're wierd, but it won't matter if you are because we've been naked together and whatnot.
    Also, was the sex okay for you? We'll have to do it more often, get you in condition and used to fcuking me so I can have an orgasm too, as$hole, and spend more time with the foreplay and get your lazy face between my legs, or get good with your hands, I'll be patient for it, because I'm going to cum with someone, you want to hope that its you. How long will I be sticking around with you if you can't do it for me? :P
    Last edited by MeanDean; 13-09-2017 at 02:40 AM. Reason: Clarification about self defense, clit size, and specification of moment of transition; personal message for ASTG
    Why is it so hard?
    ...my penis I mean


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